Hot Sauce Usage Guide

You might be saying to myself, do I really need 12 bottles of hot sauce? I'm not even sure how long a case would last.
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Here is a quick guide:

• FANATIC (Uses a spoon or straw to take it right from the bottle) - 1-2 Weeks
• CHILIHEAD (Likes to eat it at pretty much every meal) - 1 Month
• AVERAGE (As determined by my informal survey) - 2-3 Months
• SPASMODIC (look it up) - 6-12 Months
• POSER (keeps a bottle in the fridge to look cool) - 5 Years

If you are in the top two categories then it is a no brainer...you owe it to yourself to order a case at a time.  As an average user it also probably makes sense since you will still use them pretty quickly and the bottles don't take up much room. 

Now if you happen to be a spasmodic user or a poser then you might be thinking nope...the case is not for me.  To which I would say "with all due respect, nothing could be further from the truth".  Spasmodic users, by definition, never really know when or how much they are going to use.  Now it is true that you might go a month without using any hot sauce but let's say you had a bunch of your other spasmodic friends over and you all really wanted some hot sauce. Then where would you be?  If you have a case on hand you will be prepared. 

And finally if you are a poser then you absolutely must order a MIXED case.  What could be better than having the ability to rotate 10 different sauces all with really interesting and conversation provoking labels in and out of your refrigerator.  Plus you can give them as gifts when invited over to someones house for dinner.  Everybody gives wine or beer but nobody gives hot sauce.